In Amplitude at this time last year, in the Jan/Feb 2024 print edition, Bachelorette contestant Cam Ayala described what limb loss has taught him about love and relationships. “Since becoming an amputee, I’ve done a much better job of loving all of me,” he wrote. “My story is proof that we can all learn how to accept, love, and honor ourselves, and to receive love from people who accept and honor all of us.”
Ayala has been incredibly busy since that article appeared. In addition to relocating from Houston to Austin, he’s joined the board of the Save a Leg, Save a Life Foundation; run his first triathlon; pulled his first volunteer stint at Camp No Limits; and attended the Forge Retreat through Bethany Hamilton’s Beautifully Flawed Foundation.
With another Valentine’s Day upon us, we decided to reconnect with Ayala and find out how his journey to self-acceptance is going. You can follow Ayala on Instagram @camronayala. Our conversation is edited for length and clarity.
Catch me up on the last 12 months. What was 2024 like for you?
It was a year of growth and healing for me. Last year was the two-year ampuversary for me. Year one is just surreal, because everything happens so fast, and there are so many different things that happen. In most cases you get your first prosthesis, you’re learning your everyday activities, you’re navigating what it’s like just to be out in public—let alone dating. For a lot of amputees, that first year goes by like the snap of a finger, because you’re processing so much and constantly adapting to the new normal.
Year two, for me, was about finding new rhythms. I gained a lot of knowledge and wisdom last year from other amputees who are much farther along in their journey than I am. And I encourage everybody, even if you’re not an extrovert, to seek out a mentor or two who’s around your age and who’ve literally walked the walk. They can share nuggets with you that you may not get from your prosthetist, from your surgeon, certainly not from your able-bodied friends.
And I gather from your Instagram feed that you’ve also been serving as a mentor for a recent amputee named, I think, named Kaitlyn?
Courtney. Courtney Echerd. She lost her leg about a year ago. I’ve just grown to love her and her family. It was such an act of God how she and I met, because I was walking my dog down a trail that I literally had never gone down before, and her brother saw my prosthetic leg covering and he came over and said, “I hate to be so forward, but you mind if I ask you a couple questions? My sister is about to have her leg amputated tomorrow at MD Anderson.” It turns out she has osteosarcoma. So I said, “Brother, I wish I could introduce you or your sister to this guy I know here in Houston, Mark Barr.” You know about him?
The triathlete? Yep. He won a Paralympic medal last summer.
And he’s an osteosarcoma survivor. So I kid you not, 15 seconds later this guy whizzes by on his bicycle, and he stops and turns around and goes, “Cam?” It was Mark Barr.
No way.
I’m like, “Mark, let me introduce you to—”
You manifested him!
It was just a really cool moment where the community just organically came together like that. So then I got to know Courtney, and we developed a friendship, and I told her, “I’m going to run a triathlon in your honor.” It was my first and potentially my last triathlon, because it turned to be relatively traumatic.
The traumatic part was, two days before the race, I got a new running socket. That night I was doing a shakeout run at the track with another amputee who was going to be with me for the triathlon, and about a mile into the run, the twine that allows the socket to adjust snapped. I immediately hit the ground. This was a Friday night, and the race was on Sunday, and no prosthetic clinics were open on the weekend. So I FaceTimed Dave Rotter, who was down in Guatemala for Dave Krupa’s wedding, and I’m asking him, “How can I fix this?” And he says, “Cam, you’re not going to like this, but you can go down to Home Depot or Lowe’s and get some Gorilla Tape.”
Oh my god. Excuse me for laughing, I’m sorry.
You have to laugh. I literally duct-taped my running socket for this triathlon. So the day of the race, I went through the swim first, and that was no problem because I wasn’t wearing any prosthesis. For the biking portion, I used a different socket that goes with my microprocessor knee, because I can put that knee into bike mode. So biking was by far the easiest event for me, because of the technology of my microprocessor knee. Other than my dad having to literally zip-tie my prosthetic foot to the pedal to keep it in place.
So when I pulled into the last transition stop to go from biking to the run, something in my spirit said: “You’re not going to do this in the running blade.” It would have been incredibly painful if I had tried to do it with a duct-taped and zip-tied socket, you know? So I ended up doing the 5K on my forearm crutches.
Which you hadn’t trained on at all.
Hadn’t trained at all. But the whole reason I was doing the triathlon in the first place was for Courtney. She hadn’t gotten her first prosthetic yet. She was using forearm crutches to get around. So it was really fitting that I completed the race I was doing in her honor in the same style she had for mobility. That was really a healing experience for me, doing something outside of myself. And I think really the key takeaway there is that sometimes in your journey with limb loss or limb difference, you’re going to be called to be bold. You’re going to have to do things that are outside your comfort zone. Because in being bold for other people, you will actually empower them. And I feel that when you empower another person, you get that power, too.
I know not everyone’s going to run a triathlon, and not everyone’s an extreme extrovert like I am. For somebody else, their boldness might just be wearing shorts to the grocery store and letting people see their prosthetic and dealing with that attention. There’s healing in taking a bold step, and when we are more healed, it makes us more attractive. And I’m not just saying physically attractive. I think there’s a spiritual attractiveness that exudes from us when we go through growing pains and come out on the other side.
This article is for Valentine’s Day, so I have to ask you for an update in your romantic life.
So in the article last year, I talked about how self-love is important, and it totally is. I think I reached that point last year. But once you’ve matured and grown into that self-love phase, then it’s time to be selfless, and to serve other people. Not only is it the right thing to do, but in that serving of other people, you get so much back in return, and you start putting yourself in communities with like minded-people who have a similar mission and vision as I do. I think that in doing that, I’m putting myself in an environment where I can attract someone who could be a great long-term partner. I haven’t found that individual yet, or she hasn’t found me. But I was single all last year and I didn’t feel lonely. And that is so empowering.
When I was doing the Bachelorette, I feel like I was just trying too hard. I wasn’t truly myself. it’s hard in that environment, because it’s literally competition. But the reality is that you just have to make yourself available. It goes back to the boldness. It’s not always comfortable and it’s not always easy, but if you go there with boldness, and you go there with self-love, and you’re being selfless to serve other people, I think that’s when you’ll be put in the right places with the right faces. I think that’s when true love can can happen.
