Three years ago, Melissa Stockwell felt lucky to get to the Paralympics at all. The former medal winner hadn’t qualified for the Games through conventional means, but Team USA poobahs granted her a discretionary invite in recognition of her stature as a competitor, soldier, and adaptive sports advocate. Stockwell’s teammates validated her inclusion on the Paralympic roster by electing her as one of the two US flag bearers (alongside rugby player Chuck Aoki) for the Opening Ceremonies.
In the race itself, Stockwell finished the first segment (swim) in a strong second place, but she wasted nearly a minute transitioning to her bicycle and was just the fourth racer to start pedalling. Then she rode the slowest time in the field for the first cycling lap and fell to fifth place, all but ending her bid for a medal. That’s where she finished, five and a half minutes off the podium.
But Stockwell crossed the finish line with a huge smile on her face, with no regrets about anything and a heart full of gratitude. With her competitive journey at an end, she planned to turn her attention to her adaptive-sports nonprofit (Dare2Tri) and the innovative prosthetic clinic she and her husband, Brian Tolsma, operate in Colorado Springs (TS Prosthetics).
So how the heck did she end up back on the start list, at age 44, for the paratriathlon at the 2024 Paris Games?
Stockwell explains herself below. But make no mistake: She won’t be satisfied with fifth place this time. Unlike 2021, this year finds Stockwell in excellent position to earn another medal. She’s ranked fourth in the world in her classification (PTS2), and she scored a rare triumph over American teammates Allysa Seely and Hailey Danz—the reigning Paralympic gold and silver medalists, respectively—at the Americas Championships this spring in Miami.
Follow Stockwell on Instagram at @mstockwell01, and support her nonprofit at Dare2Tri. Our conversation is lightly edited.
When the Tokyo Games ended, it seemed like the finale for your athletic career. It felt as if you were satisfied with everything you’d accomplished and were ready to move on. Walk me through what happened afterward that led you back to the point that you’ve not only qualified for the Games, but you have a strong opportunity to get back to the podium.
I thought I was gonna be done after the Rio Games, and then I wasn’t. Then I thought I was gonna be down after the Tokyo Games. I had come off of fracturing my back and competed, and yes I was satisfied—but I really wasn’t. I knew I probably could have done better, and and I hadn’t really been able to run a lot because of the back injury. So I decided to switch gears after Tokyo and train for the Boston Marathon, which was in April 2022. It gave me a new goal that wasn’t a triathlon, and I loved every part of training for that. It went really well, and I broke all the expectations I had. I broke the four-hour mark, which I didn’t put even on the radar for a marathon.
At around that time, I thought, “Let’s see where we’re at with triathlon,” and I kind of jumped into the team workouts again. I think that helped ignite the competitiveness. I still enjoyed training, so I thought maybe I should see if I could give Paris a go. Obviously, getting the green light from my husband—who gives nothing but green lights—was awesome. I started to see the process through, and here I am.
Was Boston your first marathon?
No. I did the New York City Marathon in 2000, but I did not train and was completely unprepared. I finished it, but I might have been one of the last people on the course. I also have done an Ironman triathlon in Arizona, which obviously includes a marathon. But this is the first time I trained for a marathon to see what I could do.
And this was not done with the idea of competition in mind?
Not at all. I FaceTimed people while I was on the course. Halfway through the race, I FaceTimed my teammates, and one of them told me, “You’re gonna go under four [hours],” and I said “No I’m not.” My goal was 4:40. But then I got off the phone and looked at my watch, and I thought: “Oh, my gosh—can I do this?”
So that was roughly nine months after Tokyo. At what point did you have to make a call about Paris? What factors did you have to consider before you decided whether to go for it—like, whether you had enough time to get in shape, or to get qualifying points? What did you need to put into place to make a credible run at Paris?
The first consideration, obviously, was my family. My kids were five and eight at that time, and it’s a sacrifice for all of us—not just the time that I’m traveling and I’m gone, but every day I’m waking up and jumping in the pool while my husband is taking the kids to school—it’s all those little things. My husband has always been incredibly supportive, and his attitude was: “Why not do it? Let’s see what you can do.”
I also had to look at myself and my fitness level and my age, and I had to ask: Do I still have the passion to do this? Am I still competitive enough to make this happen? So in [November] 2022, I ended up going to World Championships. It was only a year after Tokyo, and it’s not really as competitive as the Paralympics, because people are weighing what they’re going to do. I ended up getting second in that race, and my times were pretty decent, so even though it didn’t have all the competitors who would typically be there, it still gave me some confidence. It was also a lot of points, and you do need those to be able to qualify.
So going into 2023, it was looking pretty good because I had been on the podium at Worlds. I was able to choose any race I wanted to go to. So I went to the top-tier ones to make sure I got enough points and could work my way up the world rankings. I was second up until a few weeks ago, and someone surpassed me, so now I’m third. [She has since dropped to fourth.] The last selection criteria was [March 8] in Miami, and that was my true shot at making the team. I was spot-on with my training, and I felt so confident going into that race. And I had the race I needed, when I needed it, to qualify for the team.
Did you have to win that race to be qualify?
Yep, I had to win it. Second or third would not have been sufficient.
Allysa [Seely] and Hailey [Danz] both participated in that race. Have you beat them very often over the years?
I have not. I’ve been within a minute of Hailey time to time, but I have not beaten Allysa since I’ve had kids—which is nine years ago. But I was really confident going in. I knew my training was exactly where it needed to be, and I just went into it with this attitude of, “I can do this,” instead of thinking: “I haven’t beat these two in this many years, so why would I beat them now?”
Does the fact that Tokyo was such a different experience because of COVID—did that play at all into the feeling that you still weren’t quite done with the Paralympics?
I would say so. My kids weren’t able to go—nobody was able to go—and my son didn’t go to Rio, because he was just too young. My kids are now getting a little bit older. They know that I swim bike and run all the time, but they haven’t been able to fully experience it. So how cool is for them to be able to see their mom compete for their country at the Paralympic Games? That definitely played a part in it.
Was there ever a time during the last three years where you thought, I made a mistake here. I don’t know that I can really follow through on this.
Oh, absolutely. I think all athletes do. The training day in and day out takes its toll. Some days or weeks are better than others. I think about Saturday mornings where I don’t want to wake up early, I want to sit around and make pancakes with my kids, but I get up early and go on a bike ride because that’s when I get my long rides in. There are absolutely days and even weeks where I’m thinking, “I’m done.” You always have those moments. But you continue to put in the work, even knowing that not every workout, not every day, not every week can be the best one. You keep pushing through and hope that it pays off. And I saw that in March. It truly was awesome.
Is there a mom’s caucus within Team USA, where competitors who are balancing motherhood and competition can support each other?
In triathlon, there’s a good number of us who are in our 40s who do have families. It’s kind of this little group where we know we’re going to miss certain [family] things and feel bad about it, or we might show up late to a race and leave right after it to get back home to our families. And no one really thinks twice. We all know that family always comes first, but training and racing are right up there too. So there’s an empathy that it’s hard to leave the family, and we understand the sacrifice there. My coach is a dad, and he gets it. He understands if I tell him, “I’m having mom guilt because if I go to Tokyo [for a race], I’m gonna have to miss this Mother’s Day thing.” It’s always gonna be a balance.
Is there anything about Paris Paralympics, compared to the previous ones you’ve been through, that makes this experience distinctive?
The fact that it’s in Europe. It’s not close by any means, but going over to Europe is much more feasible for people than going to Japan or going to Rio. It just seems like an easier trip. So I hope we’ll have more support there for the US contingent than we ever have. A lot of my family and friends are looking into tickets. And especially after COVID—since no one could go to Tokyo during COVID—there’s a sense that we’re back, and things are returning to normal.
