By Rick Bowers
In nearly 15 years of working with amputees, I’ve talked to hundreds of individuals about their experiences shortly before and after their amputations. Many have told me that contact with another amputee was one of the most important aspects of their recovery. Others regretted that they had never gotten the chance to talk to or meet another amputee during those critical periods in their lives. The vast majority of them believed that such an opportunity would have been helpful and that not having it had caused them to suffer alone unnecessarily.
Comments like those that follow were all too common in the discussions I’ve had over the years:
“I felt all alone and in the dark. It was frightening. My future seemed bleak.”
“I had so many questions, and even though many people around me wanted to help, they couldn’t really understand what I was going through because they were not amputees themselves.”
“I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to work again to support my family. I was afraid that I was going to have to depend on others for the rest of my life. I felt trapped and hopeless.”
What these individuals said they needed was to connect with another amputee who was living life fully again.
Someone who had in-depth knowledge about life after amputation.
Someone who could answer the questions that plagued them night and day—questions like “Will I ever be able to get married?” and “Is my life over now?”
One-to-one peer support—also called peer mentoring or peer visitation—offers amputees and prospective amputees both emotional support and the ability to gain knowledge that they might not be able to acquire easily anywhere else.
If you are an amputee or a prospective amputee, an amputee who has been where you are can tell you—and perhaps show you—how to get back to a fulfilling life. Whether you need to learn about the latest in prosthetic devices, how to tie your shoes or use the bathroom with no arms, where to find a support group, or how to fund a sports prosthesis, an amputee is probably the best guide. This person should be able to help you avoid making the many mistakes that he or she and countless other amputees have made—mistakes that might have been painful and expensive.
When you are lying in a hospital bed feeling like you are the only person who has ever lost a limb, it’s inspiring to see another amputee come into your hospital room wearing a prosthetic arm or leg or multiple prostheses. If that person is in a successful relationship, has children, has returned to the workforce, and seems happy, it can give you hope—based on evidence right in front of your eyes—that you too still have the opportunity for a full life.
Well-meaning nonamputees can talk and talk, trying to make you believe that you can have a bright future; but only another amputee can prove it to you.
If you’re dealing with an upcoming amputation or have already had one, try to connect with a volunteer peer supporter today so that you don’t have to face this difficult and emotional experience alone.
